{"id":21896,"date":"2025-11-22T07:52:25","date_gmt":"2025-11-22T07:52:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/psychologistvietnam.com\/?p=21896"},"modified":"2025-12-03T08:47:24","modified_gmt":"2025-12-03T08:47:24","slug":"why-some-children-accept-being-bullied-a-psychology-insight","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/psychologistvietnam.com\/en\/why-some-children-accept-being-bullied-a-psychology-insight\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Some Children \u201cAccept\u201d Being Bullied – A Psychology Insight"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Boy Who \u201cLikes\u201d Being Bullied: A Deeper Look Into Childhood Behavior<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Bullying is not always as simple as a stronger child picking on a weaker one. Sometimes, a child who is being bullied does not resist or even seems to \u201caccept\u201d it. To adults, this is confusing and heartbreaking but behind this behavior often lies a deeper emotional story.<\/p>\n

This real counseling case reveals how unmet emotional needs, misinterpreted social cues, and family dynamics can shape a child\u2019s reaction to bullying and how healing begins at home.<\/p>\n

Why a Child Might Believe \u201cBeing Bullied Is Good\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Seven-year-old Luong Luong<\/strong> was bullied everywhere at school, at the playground, even at home by his older brother. His mother tried everything: talking to teachers, contacting other parents, even confronting the boys directly. Nothing changed.<\/p>\n

One day, she suggested martial arts classes to help him stand up for himself. But he refused.<\/p>\n

\u201cBeing bullied is good,\u201d he said.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

To everyone\u2019s surprise, he believed it brought him certain benefits:<\/p>\n

    \n
  • \n

    other children stepped in to protect him<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  • \n

    the teacher punished the bullies<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  • \n

    adults paid attention to him<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    This wasn\u2019t a child enjoying pain, it was a child craving connection.<\/p>\n

    The Hidden Emotional Struggles Behind His Behavior<\/strong><\/h2>\n

    Counseling revealed that Luong Luong was:<\/p>\n

      \n
    • \n

      extremely shy and insecure<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    • \n

      unable to interpret others\u2019 emotions accurately<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    • \n

      fearful of starting conversations or forming friendships<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    • \n

      highly sensitive to judgment<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

      Family dynamics played a major role<\/strong><\/h3>\n
        \n
      • \n

        His mother was busy running a business<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

      • \n

        His father traveled often and rarely talked<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

      • \n

        His grandmother overprotected him<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

      • \n

        His older brother frequently called him \u201ccoward\u201d or \u201ccrybaby\u201d<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

        Whenever he cried, adults immediately intervened. Over time, he learned:<\/p>\n

        \n

        \u201cIf I show sadness, adults will protect me.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

        This pattern repeated at school, crying brought attention, protection, and emotional validation.<\/p>\n

        Exploring His Inner World Through Sandplay Therapy<\/strong><\/h2>\n

        Sandplay therapy revealed his internal struggles in a powerful way.<\/p>\n

        Session Highlights<\/strong><\/h3>\n
          \n
        • \n

          He created a single empty \u201criver\u201d<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

        • \n

          Spent the entire session sweeping sand obsessively<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

        • \n

          The more he cleaned, the messier it became<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

        • \n

          He hesitated when choosing toys, picking up and putting down repeatedly<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

        • \n

          He eventually buried a tiny fish and repeatedly crashed a car into it<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

        • \n

          At the end, he left the sandbox completely empty<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

          The symbolism showed:<\/strong><\/h3>\n
            \n
          • \n

            perfectionism without problem-solving strategies<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

          • \n

            indecision and fear of making mistakes<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

          • \n

            deep self-inhibition and emotional suppression<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

          • \n

            belief that he must not \u201cbother\u201d others with his feelings<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

            This confirmed that bullying wasn\u2019t the root issue, self-worth was.<\/p>\n

            Healing Begins at Home – Parental Guidance and Support<\/strong><\/h2>\n

            To help him rebuild emotional security, the family made key changes.<\/p>\n

            Recommendations for the father<\/strong><\/h3>\n
              \n
            • \n

              Engage in crafts and hands-on play<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

            • \n

              Learn to appreciate that clumsiness is normal<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

            • \n

              Create emotional safety through shared activities<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

              Recommendations for the mother<\/strong><\/h3>\n
                \n
              • \n

                Help the older brother understand his impact<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

              • \n

                Encourage positive sibling interactions<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

              • \n

                Spend intentional playtime with the child daily<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                Recommendations for the grandmother<\/strong><\/h3>\n
                  \n
                • \n

                  Reduce over-intervening in sibling conflicts<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                • \n

                  Allow children to practice resolving issues naturally<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                  As the home environment softened, Luong Luong began smiling more, talking more, and showing confidence.<\/p>\n

                  The Moment He Discovered \u201cI Matter\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n

                  One day, after a doctor\u2019s appointment, his father prepared to leave for work.
                  Luong Luong grabbed his hand and said:<\/p>\n

                  \u201cDad, you don\u2019t love me.\u201d<\/strong><\/h3>\n

                  For the first time, he expressed his feelings directly instead of suffering in silence.<\/p>\n

                  His father reassured him, promised dinner together, and suddenly the child smiled and said:<\/p>\n

                  \u201cSo I\u2019m important to Dad too.\u201d<\/strong><\/h3>\n

                  Once a child learns \u201cI matter,\u201d<\/strong> they no longer seek attention through being mistreated.<\/p>\n

                  Learning to Build Friendships and Social Skills<\/strong><\/h2>\n

                  The bullying didn\u2019t stop immediately but his reaction changed.<\/p>\n

                  Weekly skill-building included:<\/strong><\/h3>\n
                    \n
                  • \n

                    Assertive language: \u201cI don\u2019t like that.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                  • \n

                    Understanding personal boundaries<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                  • \n

                    Asking adults for help appropriately<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                  • \n

                    Observing others\u2019 behavior objectively<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                    He discovered that the mischievous boys bullied everyone, not just him.
                    This helped him feel less targeted and less ashamed.<\/p>\n

                    Through sandplay storytelling<\/strong>, he practiced:<\/h3>\n
                      \n
                    • \n

                      social initiation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                    • \n

                      emotional expression<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                    • \n

                      reading social cues<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                    • \n

                      building character relationships<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                      He eventually began asking:<\/p>\n

                        \n
                      • \n

                        \u201cHow do I start a conversation?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                      • \n

                        \u201cHow do I make friends?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                        Not long after, he formed real friendships.<\/p>\n

                        A New Sense of Strength – Facing Bullying Differently<\/strong><\/h2>\n

                        During a follow-up session, I asked:<\/p>\n

                        \u201cWhat would you do now if someone bullied you?\u201d
                        He answered:<\/p>\n

                        \n

                        \u201cI would tell them I\u2019m not easy to bully, then walk away.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

                        \u201cWhy can you walk away now?\u201d<\/p>\n

                        \n

                        \u201cBecause I have friends. They\u2019ll help me think of what to do.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

                        For the first time, he smiled with confidence, not dependence.<\/p>\n

                        When Children Know Their Value, They Stop Accepting Harm<\/strong><\/h2>\n

                        Bullying was never something he \u201cliked.\u201d
                        It was a coping mechanism, a way to get connection, protection, and validation.<\/p>\n

                        Once he felt loved, understood, and supported, he no longer used crying or passivity to navigate the world.
                        He learned:<\/p>\n

                          \n
                        • \n

                          how to express his emotions<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                        • \n

                          how to set boundaries<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                        • \n

                          how to make friends<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                        • \n

                          how to protect himself<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                          And most importantly:<\/p>\n

                          \n

                          When a child feels valued, they no longer believe that being bullied is normal, because they know they deserve better.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                          The Boy Who \u201cLikes\u201d Being Bullied: A Deeper Look Into Childhood Behavior Bullying is not always as simple as a stronger child picking on a weaker one. Sometimes, a child who is being bullied does not resist or even seems to \u201caccept\u201d it. To adults, this is confusing and heartbreaking but behind this behavior often […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":21897,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_siteseo_robots_primary_cat":"187","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21896","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/psychologistvietnam.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21896","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/psychologistvietnam.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/psychologistvietnam.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psychologistvietnam.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/15"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psychologistvietnam.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21896"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/psychologistvietnam.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21896\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psychologistvietnam.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21897"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/psychologistvietnam.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21896"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psychologistvietnam.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21896"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psychologistvietnam.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21896"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}